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Three months have passed

The pain’s still here.

Each month it comes anew.

I want to move forward

To look ahead

But blood brings death anew.

I’ll always miss you,

Always remember

Your perfect tiny form.

But I’m ready now,

I hope, I think,

I’m ready to move on.

Yet each new month,

The red tide flows

It ebs and crushes my heart.

I feel so lost

Alone, forlorn

I’m losing hope in my heart.

Your tiny life

So faint so precious

It tells me, try again.

Try to find happiness and joy

Have faith

And try again.

But I feel my body is broken.

No new spark has yet to take.

Is it because it is not time?

I pray that is the case.

And so I cry my bitter tears.

Angry at your loss.

We would’ve been 6 months now…

But you’re gone.

The pain, the cost.

And I know we’ll try again

To add to our family.

But it hurts to think and feel

That my body has betrayed me.

Infertility is a struggle.

The pain, I can’t describe.

“Just trust in God”

“Just have hope”

The words, easy said, don’t help.

I know all the right answers.

I know its for a time.

But when its my heart that keeps breaking,

All I can do is rhyme.

Time helps heal

Things will change.

Someday I’ll be ok.

But as the red tide ebbs and flows

Today is not that day.

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