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Three months have passed
The pain’s still here.
Each month it comes anew.
I want to move forward
To look ahead
But blood brings death anew.
I’ll always miss you,
Always remember
Your perfect tiny form.
But I’m ready now,
I hope, I think,
I’m ready to move on.
Yet each new month,
The red tide flows
It ebs and crushes my heart.
I feel so lost
Alone, forlorn
I’m losing hope in my heart.
Your tiny life
So faint so precious
It tells me, try again.
Try to find happiness and joy
Have faith
And try again.
But I feel my body is broken.
No new spark has yet to take.
Is it because it is not time?
I pray that is the case.
And so I cry my bitter tears.
Angry at your loss.
We would’ve been 6 months now…
But you’re gone.
The pain, the cost.
And I know we’ll try again
To add to our family.
But it hurts to think and feel
That my body has betrayed me.
Infertility is a struggle.
The pain, I can’t describe.
“Just trust in God”
“Just have hope”
The words, easy said, don’t help.
I know all the right answers.
I know its for a time.
But when its my heart that keeps breaking,
All I can do is rhyme.
Time helps heal
Things will change.
Someday I’ll be ok.
But as the red tide ebbs and flows
Today is not that day.