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Facebook, Tik-Tok, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube… you won’t find this Mama Bear there! I support each Mama that she must do what is best for herself and her family, this post is going to get a bit into why I no longer use Social Media. So grab a cup of kindness and join me as I share my thoughts.
The benefits of Social Media
Now, to start, I am by no means of the opinion that social media is useless or inherently evil. I can see some benefits- easy access to lots of knowledge, finding online community, connecting with others. So this post is NOT here to bash social media OR its users.
I enjoy occasionally watching YouTube videos or scanning Pinterest for ideas. I have many family and friends who use Facebook with personal boundaries to keep themselves safe. So if there are so many positives to social media, why is it not a part of my life?
Time
One reason is TIME. I have so many things to do each day and I find it hard enough without the temptation of getting “sucked into” my phone or computer. Maybe you have great self control in this area, but it’s easier for me to just say “no” overall to social media.
I don’t have the time to worry about what “so and so” is making for dinner… or to find the latest trend to try. I am focusing more on my 5 littles at home, how they can help learn to make our dinner. Or what project we can get into (without getting glitter ALL over the house this time)… lol
Friends
When I first chose to leave Social Media, I gave my 1000+ friends/contacts/followers fair warning. “Hey, I am taking a break from social media- maybe forever… if you would like to stay in touch, here is my email, address, and phone number. I would LOVE to stay in touch! Shoot me an email or text anytime!” Following that post across all of my social platforms- how many people do you think reached out or wanted to stay in touch? Zero.
Absolutely no one since has been in touch. I have seen maybe a handful of them in passing, but no one to this day (5 years later) have stayed in touch. Ok, my mom, grandmother and immediate family DO NOT count for that 😉 They stay in touch… but really… all the “friends” I had made through college, work, my years overseas… NO ONE chose to stay in touch without Social Media… tells me who my real friends are.
Reality
Let’s face it. What we see on Social Media isn’t always real. Editing and perspective are powerful tools. Whether it is a cryptic post/tweet allowing individuals to draw their own conclusions, or guiding a desired response through the use of video editing- reality isn’t always what we see as the end product on Social media. I have seen this in person.
We were once involved with a family and helped them with video creation. It was a great opportunity for us to learn about vlogging and eventually helped us launch into our own channel. But we were appalled to see how much editing happened with them. The channel always showed the smiles, the happy, the good… but we began to see the REALITY was FAR different. Edit out the baby cry, the bickering, the bad attitudes. Edit out the pouts… unless it works perfectly to grab more views… Keep getting footage till everyone is the illusion of beauty and perfection. Cover it up with music, fade it out with tools. Crop that, zoom in here… we learned the “tricks” and determined to NOT use them to present ourselves falsely! Sadly, this family did represent themselves in a much different light than the reality of their lives (probably still does) and we stepped away… we didn’t want to be a part of manipulating other’s emotions for our personal gain.
My husband and I always strive to live honestly. When we started our first family blog several years ago, we simply wanted to honestly help others. We shared information, grew a following, and slowly launched our brand. Never did we edit out the bad or leave off the hurt. Our goal was raw reality. We took things as they came and we worked through them. Sharing the process with others along the way. Within a few years, our following grew. After about 3 years of our blogging, we were pulling in a small monthly income. Then we met the vloggers. After our experiences with helping that family’s channel and having some issues with them, we branched off into our own vlog…
Interference
This one is my biggest turn off to Social Media. This is why Mama Bear Motherhood strives to be anonymous. Why I refuse to put family photos or identifying information online. Interference is why I no longer have ANY ties to Social Media and why we shut down our thriving website/blog, YouTube channel, and Patreon… trust me, losing hundreds of dollars revenue each month hit our family income hard. But we would do it again in a heartbeat.
Social Media opens you up to the thoughts, opinions, and ideas of others. This can be a wonderful benefit! It can create community and assistance. It can encourage and grow… or it can tear down and destroy.
Unfortunately, our family was on the destructive side. People used our passion and honesty against us. They drew conclusions without evidence and made several false accusations against us. This led us into the nightmare battle where we had to fight to prove that we were safe and decent parents. In the end, every accusation had to be dropped as they were all unfounded. There was no evidence for the claims… but the damage had already been done. The wound and betrayal cut us deep. Having gone through that horrifying experience once, seeing the trauma it placed in my little ones’ lives… We were done and would never go back.
Social Media Goodbye
So what can you do if you want to break away from Social Media? (and this choice is DEFINITELY not for everyone). Maybe you will choose to go all in/cold turkey, or to wean yourself off slowly. Either way, Give people you want to stay in touch with your information so they have the opportunity to do so. Look into backing up photos and content before you close your accounts. Read the fine print that is involved with closing your account. Then when you are ready… do it. Whatever you choose, take the steps you need and don’t be ashamed of your decision.
In Conclusion
Social Media has its benefits. It can help businesses grow and people to connect. However, due to our family’s past and seeing it firsthand used as a tool for evil, this Mama Bear drew a line in the sand. That’s why you won’t see any social media accounts. That is why I won’t do YouTube videos anymore. I am toying with the idea of doing paid video courses in the future… but having been burned once, I am admittedly hesitant.
Now, disclaimer, if you are at all helped by this blog and would like to share on Social Media, by all means please do. I want Mama Bear Motherhood to be a blessing and help others. I would love to see this website grow and maybe someday help to supplement our family’s income as we had in the past. That is why I do have affiliate links, donation links, and offer products for sale… But I will not allow mama shaming. I will not allow my children to be bullied and traumatized. This Website’s growth is not worth it to me… so thus, neither is social media.
